“There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.” James Nathan Miller
Hello Darlings, the Missus here!
With the holidays coming up you’re sure to involved in conversations with family, friends, and colleagues at parties. Mastering the art of conversation is not as hard as you might think. It’s been my experience that people LOVE to talk about themselves, so if you find yourself in the middle of an awkward pause, just ask them a question (open-ended is best). You’d be surprised how the floodgates open. Listen more, speak less. It’s crucial when making small talk to follow the conversation. Really listen to what’s being said. When you have something on topic to add, or a funny story that’s relevant to the conversation, feel free to jump in, but only after the storyteller has finished speaking.
Here is a great Conversation Cheat Sheet. The following are topics that are always appropriate for a cocktail party or holiday party. And once you’ve started the conversation…there’s no telling where it’ll end up. Smile, enjoy yourself, appear engaged in the other person’s story, and feel free to embellish a little here and there to make your anecdotes more interesting.
- Local happenings and current events; whats been going on in your local community or bring up an interesting topic you saw on the TV, Internet, or newspaper.
- Movies and TV; what have you seen lately? Was it two thumbs up or a real stinker? Do follow any reality shows or a television series that you’re passionate about?
- Sports; this is a no brainer. Even if you’re not a sports fan, brush up a little on the local teams so you have something to add if you find yourself in a group of attractive men.
- The people you’re talking to; as mentioned earlier – people LOVE talking about themselves. Finding out where they’re from (if they’re not originally from where you are) is a good conversation starter. People are so transient these days that it’s likely you have someplace in common. If you can connect with someone on a favorite town (i.e. California), then you’ve just opened up a slew of conversation topics (i.e. the Lakers, Surfing, and great weather).
- A funny story; Sometimes self-deprecating stories are the funniest and tell others that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Culture; books, art gallery openings, a new band.
- Family plans; Are they going on vacation this summer? Do they have their kids enrolled in any summer camps? What are they doing for the holidays?
- The hostess’s home; “Isn’t this house lovely? I like the eclectic/modern/rustic décor.
- The weather; boring it doesn’t have to be. It can open up new topics.
- Conversation ABCs: If all of the above fails, play the game that Eleanor Roosevelt did while she was First Lady. She went down the alphabet until a subject sparked a listener’s interest, starting with A. For example, A: Airline travel is sure not what it used to be?; B: Have you read Dan Brown’s latest novel?; C: I hope the Chicago Cubs make it to the World Series in 2010? Got the idea?
For helpful conversation closers check out this resource.
Happy Thanksgiving!
